But why? Now that I’ve got that Limbaugh rant out of my system, I can get back to blogging about important magazine industry stuff, like do you recall last month when Britney Spears sort of went topless for Rolling Stone Magazine? Well, now she’s sort of going bottomless for Esquire.

Overrated (left), Underrated (right) Click each for stats.

Fools rush in: I know you’ve been asking yourselves, “I wonder why Rex hasn’t blogged that whole Rush Limbaugh thing?” Well, now that he’s resigned and I had a two-hour flight yesterday during which to write this (and some other drivel), I will. Here’s what I think: 1. ESPN hired Rush Limbaugh to help liven up its NFL gameday show to increase ratings and he delivered the goods. 2. What he said was not racist in the context of a trash-talk slinging TV sports pundit brawl. Even if it were racist, there were two black co-panelists who could have slapped it back with ease…aren’t those guys paid for repartee? If they don’t have what it takes to crush Rush on overt racism, they should resign also. 3. Is this what the anti-Rush pundits really want? They’ve just added to Limbaugh’s martyrdom and contributed considerably to the argument (man, did they fall into this trap, or what) that the “mainstream media” is all for free speech, unless it is delivered by someone they don’t like. 4. And this is the most important thing I think about this whole faux-controversy — Rush is wrong: Donavan McNabb is definitely over-rated and it has absolutely nothing to do with him being African American. I know, because I am a devoted fan (well, except for that DUI thing) of the greatest African American (or, for that matter, whatever other race you can think of) quarterback playing today and an African American quarterback “The Media” has underrated for the past seven years. When compared to Steve McNair, Donavan McNabb sucks. I mean, get real. Rather than, as Rush said, the media wanting McNabb to succeed because he’s black, I think the NFL media (the ones who have not voted for Steve McNair to be in the Pro-Bowl) are the racists because they consciously or subconsciously think McNair is TOO African American. (That, or they’re overt or covert idiots.) By the end of his career, Steve McNair will go down as one of the greatest QBs of all time. He’ll be a household name when people are losing trivia games because they can’t remember the names McNabb or Vick. So Rush, you’re wrong. The media is not pulling for McNabb because of his race. If it were, the QB with the best cumulative W-L record for the past 5 years, the one who has led his team to one Superbowl and another AFC championship game, would AT LEAST have received enough support from that NFL media to get hyped into AT LEAST one Pro Bowl. (Hey, wait, I’m not finished. Why do you have that hook?) I’m sorry, rexblog visitors. We’ll now return to our regular programming.

Later: Steve McNair comments on the whole brouhaha.

The “oral history” story form: Here’s a magazine article and here’s an interview with its writer regarding its “story form.” Interesting insight and another example of the helpful material for writers from the Poynter Institute.

This could never happen: This article makes it sound like there are magazine editors and art directors who use stock photos in magazines and then those same stock photos appear in other places. Soon, readers are wondering, how can this guy lose 50 lbs., find a new girlfriend and be a satisfied Saturn owner all in one week? Call me a skeptic, but I don’t believe this could ever happen. (But if you can send me examples, I’ll be happy to share them. I will not be sharing examples from my personal collection, however.) (Thanks to Lewis)

Xtreme-niche magazine publishing: If you’ve be wondering what Marty Wombacher is up to these days, I can now shed some light on that subject. For those of you who have never heard of him (ok, I’ll admit it, I fall into that category), Marty Wombacher used to publish the magazine “Fishwrap” whenever he could save up enough money to put out an issue. It was back in the days when self-published magazines were called “zines.” Well, Marty e-mailed the rexblog yesterday to let all three rexblog readers know that he quit doing Fishwrap because he grew tired of the ridicule it received from the mainstream world of magazines and to let us know that he’s decided to head into a new magazine niche direction — and one, frankly, I feel sure in which he’ll succeed and dominate the category.

In his e-mail to me, he explained his new concept is to “write and publish a magazine marketed strictly for (himself).” And so, he’s about to launch his new magazine called Marty’s Magazine . Like Fishwrap, the new Marty’s Magazine (URL to come when there’s a website) will be “filled with absurdist humor and parodies of other magazine columns and features.” Marty even granted the rexblog the special opportunity to post an example of the kind of Marty’s Magazine feature that is not available anywhere else on the Internet. That is, until the launch of the Marty’s Magazine’s website.

I would like to add that as soon as the rexblog receives a copy of Marty’s Magazine (even though I am not Marty, he has graciously offered to share a copy with me), I am going to start a campaign to encourage its inclusion in the next Guide to New Magazines edited by my friend and hero, Samir Husni. I mean, just because a magazine is published for one person doesn’t mean it’s not a magazine, huh? Can I hear some A-mens?

I’ve posted Marty’s piece inside the rexblog (find link below). It is his satirical take on what went on during the final conversation between Bonnie Fuller and Jann Wenner. The rexblog would like to extend Marty the best of wishes on the launch of Marty’s Magazine. Of all the magazine launches I’ve heard of this year, he has, without a doubt, the clearest understanding of his potential reader. I know he’ll do great job of satisfying that niche audience.

A word of caution to rexblog regulars, however. Marty’s piece contains a few words not typically found in the rexblog, or, at least not spelled correctly. If you don’t want to read the “F” word or other similar words that begin with several letters of the alphabet, do not proceed. If you can accept the rexblog’s commitment to Marty’s freedom to express himself to himself, then you’ll find it here.

The Final Conversation Between Bonnie Fuller and Jann Wenner

Satire by Marty Wombacher

Marty Wombacher used to publish the magazine “Fishwrap” whenever he could save up enough money to put out an issue. He e-mailed rexblog in October, 2003, to let all three rexblog readers know that he quit doing Fishwrap because he grew tired of the ridicule it received from the mainstream world of magazines and to let us know that he’s decided to head in a new direction — and one, frankly, I feel sure will succeed.

Marty’s new magazine is called Marty’s Magazine and in his e-mail to me, he explained his concept is to “write and publish a magazine marketed strictly for (himself).” Like Fishwrap, the new Marty’s Magazine (URL to come when there’s a website) will be “filled with absurdist humor and parodies of other magazine columns and features.” Marty even granted the rexblog the special opportunity to post an example of the kind of Marty’s Magazine feature that is not available anywhere else on the Internet. That is, until the launch of the Marty’s Magazine’s website.

A word of caution to rexblog regulars, however. The article below contains a few words not typically found in the rexblog, or, at least not spelled correctly. If you don’t want to read the “F” word or other words that begin with several letters of the alphabet, do not proceed.

The Final Conversation Between Bonnie Fuller and Jann Wenner

By Marty Wombacher

(rexblog warning (for the second and last time): The following contains Adult Language (juvenile humor, perhaps, but adult language). If you don’t want to read the “F” word and some other words beginning with additional letters of the alphabet, then feel welcomed (actually, feel encouraged) to avoid this stab at humor at the expense of a couple of really rich, quirky people. )

Saturday, Jun 28, 2003—NEW YORK—Bonnie Fuller has resigned as editor of Us Weekly, a once struggling celebrity magazine that she revived, to become editorial director of American Media Inc., a major publisher of supermarket tabloids including The National Enquirer.
Fuller resigned Thursday, 16 months after taking over Us Weekly, magazine spokeswoman Samantha Rosenthal said yesterday. Us Weekly is owned jointly by Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner and Walt Disney Co.

Five days earlier…

Jann: So how’s it going Bonnie?

Bonnie: (staring at a proof of the upcoming cover of that week’s Us magazine) Godammit! (Note from the blogger: see what I mean.) They used the word “hypothetically” in one of the cover lines! Fucking (Note from the blogger: See. Okay, you get the idea.) idiots. I’ve told these people time and time again nothing over three syllables on the cover! Our audience won’t get it. They won’t understand a word like hypothetically, it’ll confuse them and they won’t buy the issue. Why am I the only one who sees these things? Oh someone’s getting fired over this shit.

Jann: Hey Bonnie, did I ever tell you about the time I had lunch with John and Yoko?

Bonnie: (Pointing to the logo on the cover) Motherfucker! They outlined the logo in cyan. Shit! I’ve told them never to use straight cyan on the cover. It makes people feel cold and they won’t pick up the issue. (sticking her head out the office door and screaming down the hallway) It’s simple rules people! Start learning or get the fuck out of here now and save me the trouble of having to fire your sorry asses!

Jann: Well anyway, I was in London, to meet Mick for an exclusive interview, this is in the mid 70s, so by now, you know, me and Mick are really good friends. He really likes me and thinks I’m cool. In fact most of the rock stars think I’m a cool and neat guy. And movie stars do too. Cause, you know, I started putting them on the cover around this time. Oh, remind me later to tell you my Michael Douglas story.

Bonnie: (Flipping pages on the proof of the magazine) Holy Christ! Nobody photoshopped the zit off this picture of Justin Timberlake. He doesn’t look perfect. And he’s a star! He’s a major celebrity and he’s got a fucking zit the size of Grant’s tomb on his chin! Our audience will be confused! Fuck! Okay, that’s it, the art director’s toast. (twisting her  face into a knot) Hmm, what the fuck is the art director’s name anyway?

Jann: So I’m in London and I’m not meeting with Mick till the evening so I decide to call up John and Yoko and see if they want to have lunch with me. I have John’s private phone number, cause I was really good friends with him. And with the other Beatles as well. I hung out with all the Stones too! Well, except for Brian, cause he died before I became a celebrity in my own right.

Bonnie: (still flipping through pages) Oh fuck me running! Whose bright fucking idea was it to let Carrot Top be one of the Fashion Police Cops? His comedy is way too subtle for our audience. They’ll never get humor as sophisticated as his. Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck! I repeatedly said use only third rate comics, obscure radio personalities and former reality show stars for the Fashion Police Cops. Fuck it, whoever edits this section is going to be out on the sidewalk in about five fucking minutes!

Jann: So anyway I call up John on his private phone, cause I’m a friend and everything…

Bonnie: (putting the magazine down on the desk) Oh, Jann, sorry about breaking in on your story or whatever it is you’re talking about, but I almost forgot. American Media offered me over three million dollars to go and dumb their stuff down. So I’m quitting today.

Jann: Uhhh…have I ever told you about the time I was drinking beer in this Detroit bar with the entire J. Geils Band?

Actionable? This blog typically makes comments about the magazine industry stories to which it links. However, this blog will forego that practice with this link. (Note to rexblog visitors who click on the previous link after it dies: sorry.)