Blog your way to work day

bike to workBlog to work day: In observance of Bike to Work Friday, this weblog rode his wife’s bike (mine’s to, well, special) to work today. Actually, I’ve wanted to bike to work for a long time, but it’s hard to when you drop off someone at school (along with a back pack and lacrosse equipment). However, I read somewhere that today was Bike to Work Day (which, by my unscientific research this morning, is not observed in Nashville), so I decided to use the occasion to conduct an experiment to discover the answers to these two questions: 1. Can I bike to work as quickly as I drive? (answer: yes, easily); and 2. Can I bike to work without breaking a sweat? (answer: not unless it’s 20 degrees cooler than it is in Nashivlle today).

While I did not blog my biking commute in real-time, if I had, it would have gone something like this:

Where did I put the pump? When is the last time she rode this? I really should use my Trek 5200, but I promised everyone at work I wouldn’t embarass them by wearing anything made of spandex. Okay, here we go. Why is this seat so low? This helmet sucks. (No, wait, I think I have it on backwards.) If I were on my bike, I would be going twice as fast down this hill. Damn cement truck. What? Do you you think it’s okay to pull out in front of a bike just because you’re driving a BMW? Suckers, sit in that line waiting for the red light. I’m running that red light to get even with that guy back there who pulled out in front of me. Damn, I hate this hill: the hill that I never notice when I’m in a car. This hill that blew my chances of not sweating like a pig. I wonder if pigs really sweat. Okay. How come I’m the only person biking to work? Oh, wait. There’s a biker. But he’s definitely not heading to work.

Okay, here’s the tricky part. I’ve got to cross this interstate and mingle with real traffic. Okay. Okay. Damn you. Stop blowing your horn. I have a right to this gutter space. Okay. You want to blow your horn at me. Then I’m going to pull into the middle of your lane and go slowly. I can’t hear you. Blow away. LA-LA-LA-LA. I can’t hear you. Okay. Enough of that fun. I’m here.

That wasn’t so bad. I wonder who can give me a ride home. I wonder when “Ride Your Bike Home From Work Day” is.

(Update: At the request of one of this weblog’s five readers, here is additional information: I live 3.61 miles from work and it took me approximately 14 minutes to get to work at a very slow pace.)

(Update #2: Someone just e-mailed me to remind me that I have blogged about my biking skills before. I had been trying to forget.)

  • Jeanne

    “…This hill that blew my chances of not sweating like a pig. I wonder if pigs really sweat… ”

    Pigs do NOT sweat. The only place a pig has sweat glands is its nose. (Don’t ask me how I know this…I just do. It’s just one of the many nuggets of knowledge I acquired growing up on a farm in Nebraska.) If it were up to pigs, they would never wallow in the mud. Pigs would much rather lounge in a clean pool of water to keep themselves cool, but that usually isn’t an option. So, pigs lie in mud.

    Kind of makes a human thankful for sweat glands now doesn’t it?!

  • Rex Hammock

    Jeanne. I can’t thank you enough for this insightful information.