I know if you’re like me, you always look forward to this time of year — you know, when Time Magazine’s eagerly anticipated annual list of the 299 million least influential Americans hit the newsstands. I can’t believe I let my subscription lapse. Fortunately, the folks at The Onion are on top of this story and have filed the embedded video newsstory.

Favorite line: “He’s a claims adjuster and he went two years without making an adjustment. That’s amazing.”