The 9 steps of politicial scandals

(Note: The title of this post originally said 10 steps due to mis-count later discovered in a recount by our audit committee.)

Over the years, I’ve watched these things, and I think I’ve broken the code on the news flow of political scandals. It doesn’t matter what the politician does — accept bribes, shoplifts or, well, just fill in the blank:

1. Politician _______s.
2. Rumors circulate that politician ________s.
3. Politician denies rumors.
4. Politician caught _____ing.
5. Politician says, “I did not _____, it was a misunderstanding.”
6. Politician blames media and bloggers.
7. Past partners, victims or witnesses show up to prove politician _______s all the time.
8. Politician admits he’s __________ed.
9. Politician apologizes to his family and to those who trusted him, blames it on alcohol and enters rehab.