The 10 steps of professional sports scandals

Recently, I described the 10 steps of a political scandal. After catching up on the scandal-of-the-week in professional sports, the New England Patriot spying case, I’ve determined the same 10-steps work in professional sports scandals — with just a tweak or two. It doesn’t matter if the scandal involves steroids, gambling, cheating or, well, just fill in the blanks:

1. Sports figure _______s.
2. Rumors circulate that sports figure ________s.
3. Sports figure denies rumors.
5. Sports figure caught _____ing.
6. Sports figure says, “I (we) did not _____, it was a misunderstanding.”
7. Sports figure blames sports media and sports bloggers.
8. Past team-members, associates, victims or witnesses show up to prove sports figure _______s all the time.
9. Sports figure admits he __________ed but that was before he found religion.
10. Sports figure apologizes to his family and to fans, pays a fine, sits out a suspension, ends up delivering pizza like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights and charging people to sign autographs.

Related: In catching up on the spying scandal, I ran across an item on a site called Casino Gambling World with the headline, “Gamblers Are The Real Losers In Patriots Cheating Scandal.”

Here’s a quote from the opinion piece:

“So, in reality, if the Pats were cheating and stealing signs from any of their three opponents in those games, they could very well have also been cheating and stealing money out of gamblers pockets all over the world.”

So, just to help you get this straight: When NFL teams cheat, gamblers are the real victims.

Just to set the record straight, the real victims are fans like Tom Asacker.

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About Rex Hammock

Founder/ceo of Hammock Inc., the customer media and content company based in Nashville, Tenn. Creator of and head-helper at SmallBusiness.com.
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  • http://www.itfrom.us sadcox

    Unbelievably brilliant!

    And I’m sure some gambler somewhere knew about the sign stealing and made a mint off of that knowledge. Don’t feel too bad for the gamblers!

  • Hudge

    Or, if the pizza gig flops, the perp gets a wrestling contract that, like a government soybean subsidy, pays him not to do anything.