If spammers created my Christmas list

If the people who send spam to me were in charge of Christmas gift-giving, here are the things you’d find under the tree (in no particular order):

1. Pedi Paws, the incredible pet nail trimmer
2. Loud N Clear, the personal sound amplifier
3. AcaiBerry, the all natural cleansing formula
4. The President Obama Inaugural dollar
5. ShamWow, the amazing towel that holds 20x its weight in liquid
6. Resveratrol, the pill that can help you live to age 150
7. The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft BB Gun – “An awesome toy for the holidays!”
8. EZ Combs – The Stretchable Double Combs
9. Fuco Slim, the flat stomach pill
10. Lots and lots of cheap prescription drugs and adult merchandise

Actually, that Warrior AK-47 BB Gun does sound pretty awesome — perfect for a remake of one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time.

  • Your forgot the President Obama Inaugural Limited Edition Collector’s Plate! You can hold history in your hand! (Laughing)

    This was absolutely priceless!

  • Careful with that AK-47 BB gun. You’ll shoot your eye out! (Sorry…I couldn’t resist!)

  • We had some airsoft pistols at an unnamed ecommerce company that I worked for. Every once in a while the developers just needed to shoot some stuff and airsoft seemed like the best way to go.

  • From all the email I’m getting about my PayPal account, it looks like it’s time to go shopping. I’ll start with your list.

  • sam

    I watched the ShamWow infomercial last night. Best line: “All I can say is…sham-WOW!!”

  • You forgot to add any of Billy May’s products such as: OxiClean, Orange Glo, Kaboom, Handy Switch, Mighty Putty, Steam Buddy and so forth. Basically, he IS the list!

  • Hudge

    How could you leave Flying Monkeys off your list – they’d be perfect for JayRob!

  • Hudge

    My wife saw Billy May promoting some kind of magic fabric mender yesterday and reached for a pen and paper to write the phone number down. She has also bought oxiclean, orangeglo and kaboom. sigh