The 9 Steps of a Political Scandal

Les Jones wonders if Le’Affaire Sanford will follow my “10 Steps of Political Scandals” from April 28, 2007. If you don’t remember the steps (I didn’t), here they are (except there are only nine because I mis-counted). Just fill in the blank with discretions like “shoplifts,” “takes drugs,” or “gets caught in bed with a dead girl or live boy”* :

1. Politician _______s.
2. Rumors circulate that politician ________s.
3. Politician denies rumors.
4. Politician caught _____ing.
5. Politician says, “I did not _____, it was a misunderstanding.”
6. Politician blames media and bloggers.
7. Past partners, victims or witnesses show up to prove politician _______s all the time.
8. Politician admits he’s __________ed.
9. Politician apologizes to his family and to those who trusted him, blames it on alcohol and enters rehab.


*Famous quote of former Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards, an expert in political scandals.

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  • medecau

    first word that came to my mind was: “die.”

  • Hudge

    Being a fundamentally mean person, I sometimes think scandal-smacked politicians should be forced to remain in office, unless they committed murder or stuck up a nursing home or something like that, as a kind of equivalent to the old publics stocks and pillory. Keep them on display and writhing, rather than off and gone under a rock until they re-emerge as news commentators or something like that.

  • @Hudge – I could not disagree with you more: you are not a fundamentally mean person.