Our first Lard letter

My friend Clint Smith (those are his feet on the left) sends these suggestions for improving this weblog:

1. More references to cats. For instance, I read the whole thing and I still don’t know if Mrs. Bopeepers ever found that sock.

2. Come up with a catchier blog handle. “Rex” may work for your corporate types, but stories about Jerry LardAss and his gang of stock-broker monkeys is what’s going to keep the kids coming back.

3. More British slang. That test was easy OR that test was lemon squeezy. See?

4. Let’s see less stuff about “magazines” and “books” and more photos of public officials in front of statues with boobies.

5. Where’s the bitching and whining? All this “I’m okay look at this person she’s nice” stuff has got me bored rigid, Jerry.

I’d like to express my thanks to Clint for these great suggestions. I know, due to his humility, he will be embarassed when I tell you a little about the incredible accomplishments he has, well, accomplished during the past few years, but, heck, here goes:

Clint Smith, This is Your Life:

Remember those all-star days when you were a baseball pitcher at Texas Lutheran (2.14 era)?

And who can forget those heady days and no-doze all-nighters
earning your MBA at Emory?

Those of us who knew you back then, well, we were sure you were destined for politics.

With that busy schedule, we’re glad when you find time to relax.

And so, what’s next for Clint Smith? Well, gentleman, start your engine.