Russians attempt a triple-loop hissy

Now the Russians are demanding their own duplicate gold medal like the one the Canadian couple received. Wait, what’s that I hear? Is that a whinbulance?

I say let’s do away with figure skating in future olympics and replace it with something called X-F SK8 (for extreme figure skate). It would combine the best of speedskating and figure skating in a way that would have all the competitors on the ice at the same time and allow blocking and checking. It wouldn’t be like hockey, however, in that no one could be holding a stick during competition.