If Apple doesn’t announce the iPhone Monday, can y’all just stop talking about it?

First, I hate perpetuating an Apple rumor meme. I’d prefer to just point to my page of “All the Apple Rumors You’ll Ever Need.” However, I can’t help myself from commenting on the newest iteration of what seems to me to be the longest-running rumor in Apple history. Today, Gizmodo and others are rumoring that the iPhone will be announced on Monday. I’ll confess: I’m so sick of hearing these rumors (they’ve been around so long, it seems they started when Jobs and Wozniak were still working in a garage) that I’m beginning to hope the whole thing is a decoy.

Yet part of me looks forward to such an announcement on Monday because, frankly, I’m curious how they’ll explain the decision to announce a highly-anticipated consumer product seven days before Christmas.

Longtime Apple watchers know that January 9, the opening day of Macworld, is the typical day for such an announcement. Usually (and logically) Apple waits until right after Christmas to make consumers have buyer’s remorse for getting a product without the newest feature. If Apple announces a new iPhone on December 18, they’ll be creating an avalanche of, what, something I don’t know what to call (perhaps the Germans have a word for it). Something like: pre-buyers remorse.

As for me, all I want for Christmas is no more Apple rumors.

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