Dave Barry’s guide to Super Bowl Sunday

Dave Barry at his finest:


The Super Bowl is today; the electronics stores are open right now. You need to step up and be a MAN, by clipping out the following newspaper article and giving it to your wife:

SMALL TVS CAUSE CANCER, STUDY SHOW NEW YORK OR BOSTON — (AP) — A scientific study, done by scientists, has shown that small television screens cause cancer.

”If your TV set is not the size of, at minimum, a Toyota Camry, you are taking a serious medical risk,” stated Dr. Harold Gropenfinger, a scientist. “A person who would deliberately expose her family, including children, to a smaller TV is, in my scientific opinion, scum.”

Dr. Gropenfinger won the 1998 Nobel Peace Prize for Science for discovering that beer prevents heart disease.

(Thanks, Hudge)