If spammers created my Christmas list

If the people who send spam to me were in charge of Christmas gift-giving, here are the things you’d find under the tree (in no particular order):

1. Pedi Paws, the incredible pet nail trimmer
2. Loud N Clear, the personal sound amplifier
3. AcaiBerry, the all natural cleansing formula
4. The President Obama Inaugural dollar
5. ShamWow, the amazing towel that holds 20x its weight in liquid
6. Resveratrol, the pill that can help you live to age 150
7. The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft BB Gun – “An awesome toy for the holidays!”
8. EZ Combs – The Stretchable Double Combs
9. Fuco Slim, the flat stomach pill
10. Lots and lots of cheap prescription drugs and adult merchandise

Actually, that Warrior AK-47 BB Gun does sound pretty awesome — perfect for a remake of one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time.