Happy American Boxing Day

In the U.S., we don’t have Boxing Day. In the U.S., the day after Christmas is, well, the day after Christmas. However, when Christmas is on Sunday, the federal holiday is Monday, the 26th. That means that today is an official national holiday and all the businesses are closed. Well, except for all the businesses that are open. And that means stores that want to sell you stuff with the gift-cards and cash that may have come your way in the past 24 hours.

Alas, today is what Boxing Day has become in the UK — a big shopping holiday. An unnamed black friday. A day to return stuff and exchange stuff and buy more stuff.

While I’m typically put-off by exhibitions of conspicuous consumption, I’ve decided to forego my judgmental attitude for this one-day only. We’ve got an economy to save, people. Get out there and buy. Indeed, if someone is between you and something you’d like to purchase, know that today, while it is not cool to use pepper spray, if I understand this UK holiday correctly, it is okay to clear a path with a swift left upper-cut.

Happy Boxing Day.