No Virginia, Amazon and UPS aren’t real


I remember it was back on Christmas Eve of 2013.

My son and I were outside at 7:59 P.M. looking anxiously for the UPS truck to arrive with a Red Ryder BB gun we’d ordered on

We were there at 7:59 P.M. because Amazon had told us we’d have “guaranteed delivery” by Christmas Eve.

We’d been a little alarmed earlier in the evening when the Red Ryder BB Gun didn’t show up with the UPS delivery of a case of Claxton Fruit Cake. But checking, we were reassured when they sent us over to the UPS tracking feature that assured us to expect the package by 8 P.M.

Sure enough, at the appointed time, what to our wandering eyes did appear?

A UPS truck.

Unfortunately, at that exact same moment a tragic accident occurred when the truck and its driver got run over by a reindeer, ruining our chances of getting the Red Ryder BB Gun until the day after Christmas.

And that’s how December 26 became known in the U.S. as “Blaming Day.”

The end.