Boring Events Like the NFL Draft Work Because of Twitter

Watching the NFL draft on TV is ridiculously boring without Twitter

Watching the NFL draft on TV is ridiculously boring, despite everything the NFL and ESPN do to focus on back-stories (dipping into ABC’s creation of the “up close and personal” documentary approach to turn sports like curling into emotional personal stories of victory over adversity), punditry and more big data than the NSA collects on the leaders of foreign governments.

However, Twitter can turn boring events into an entertaining event fueled by back-channel quips, snark, insight and, my favorite, “irrational hate.”

When you add in Twitter and follow a few hashtags related to the team you like or despise, you discover that football fans who tweet are the same people who listen to sports-talk radio for five-six hours a day. They know the facts and some even provide insightful commentary.

But the glue that holds the non-event event (meaning, it’s not actually an event like a game, but a second- or third- degree event in the eco-system of the actual event) together are “The Haters,” They are often funny in a caustic, bitter, heartfelt and mindless way who, in the end, you forgive for being an idiot because you know they must have had some very difficult issues growing up or during their first few marriages.

Here’s what I mean. The Tennessee Titans (my hometown team) were so awful last season, we (I use the first-person plural in referring to the Titans because, well, that’s what a fan does) we had the 2nd pick, overall, in the draft. Fortunately, the Tampa Bay Bucs (ironically, the closest thing I have to a 2nd “hometown” team as my wife is a native of the area and I travel there regularly) chose the player that, had the Titans chosen him, I would have likely become an ex-fan.

So the Titans were able to pick my choice, the current Heisman Trophy (and every other kind of trophy except NCAA championship) winning quarterback.

Of course, The Haters hated that choice because he’s “too nice” for the NFL. Having good grades and no “character issues” are, apparently, things haters hate.

Of course, some of The Haters who hated the first choice because he is “too nice” were able to hate the 2nd round second-round pick because of his “off-field issues” (code phrase for: he’s been arrested several times and is NOT too nice).

As for me, I’m not a hater, I’m a hope-er: I like having someone smart at QB and someone “freakishly superhuman” at wide receiver.

I prefer them not being arrested after they sign a contract, however.